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Top Ten SUPER BOWL 2014 Commercials

Trenton February 5, 2014 0

With the new year comes yet another Super Bowl, and while I generally don’t care for anything about or remotely relating to sports, the four million dollar a pop advertisements are always a welcome treat. Not necessarily because I enjoy them (who enjoys commercials, really?), but because I get to tear them apart and throw ironic remarks at the television. That said, not all of them are bad, and a rare few far from it.

This list doesn’t quite combine the best, but includes any which are worth mentioning. In that sense the numbering is irrelevant. Have fun!

10. Budweiser – “Puppy Love”

The first commercial, “Puppy Love,” has been making quite a few rounds across the internet, as it’s got the highest viewership out of all the other commercials on the list. My response to that being: “Why?” I mean, puppies are cute and everything, and it’s corny as hell (which people tend to eat up), but what in god’s name does a dog’s friendship with a horse have to do with beer? Just because you put a vague hashtag at the end of it doesn’t mean you’re excused from rational thought.


9. Dannon Oikos’ Greek Yogurt – “The Spill”

I’ve never watched Full House, but I’m vaguely aware of Bob Saget thanks to How I Met Your Mother. In that, I still have no idea why this is cool, or what any of them have to do with yogurt. Still, the commercial builds an extremely awkward sexual tension bordering on soft-core porn, before diffusing it with pants washing. No, not like that.

8. Coca Cola – “America is Beautiful”

This year’s Coca Cola commercial has tried to link patriotism with a soft drink, which is commendable for sure, but it’s generated quite a lot of controversy in its depiction of people from multiple ethnic groups being happy. Because, as we all know, people sometimes hate the fact that everyone’s not white.

7. McDonalds – “Bad Lip Reading”

If you’ve seen Bad Lip Reading, there’s no question it’s one of the funniest and most creative things on the internet – especially for football fans, since the channel has since started parodying the NFL. I’m not quite sure how they do it, since I’m rubbish at reading lips, but it comes off flawlessly (save a few slight slip-ups). It was smart of McDonalds to capitalize on the series’ popularity, and despite the obvious focus on their Dollar Menu, the ad was still very funny.

6. Toyota – “Big Game w/ Terry Crews and the Muppets”

I cannot for the life of me tell what the thought was in putting Terry Crews with the Muppets in a Toyota Highlander, but something tells me that was the idea, however stupid. The pairing makes no sense, but the two are incredibly amusing (P-P-P-P-P-P-POWER!) on their own, so why not? I’ve got no other words for it.

5. Audi – “Doberhuahua”

Whoever wrote this was undeniably high, but it’s at least creative. Sort of. It plays off the idea of a couple’s compromise when adopting a dog, and goes absolutely bananas by throwing dozens of dogs across the screen. I can’t tell if it was a coincidence or intentional, but the Doberchuahua has a stunning resemblance to Scrappy Doo at the end of the first live-action Scooby Doo movie. Like, seriously, what does this have to do with cars I don’t even.

4. Bud Light – “Ian’s Up for Whatever”

Commercials with real people generally feel weird, but this one has a certain charm to it that I can’t put my finger on. Maybe it’s just the Governator cameo (which I think we all agree is totally awesome), but the spontaneity of the whole thing was great. Executing it on the first take so the unwitting participant’s response is genuine, and having to react to any probable mishaps that happen along the way couldn’t have been an easy task, and for that it earns the #4 spot. Still not sure what it had to do with beer, though.

3. Jaguar – “British Villains Rendezvous”

I’ll admit that it’s not exactly creative calling on celebrities to promote something of which they have no affiliation, but it’s been done so many times it’d be fair to label it a tradition more than a cliche. Most cameos from actors don’t quite tug me in any direction, but throw in Loki and I’ll do or buy whatever you want. Ben Kingsley and Mark Strong, too. British people just get me, you know? The 30-second spot highlights their history of playing villains, and while the idea of “being bad” was a bit of a weak link to a sports car, I can’t help but love the thing.

2. Radioshack – “The Phonecall”

To be perfectly honest, I didn’t even know Radioshack was still in business, so all credit to them for pointing out that they’re essentially stuck in the 80’s. At least in terms of notoriety. Any commercial that calls on a plethora of pop culture icons is guaranteed to strike a cord with most people, and this one’s no exception. Funny, nostalgic, and pretty good-looking, “The Phonecall” is probably one of the most creative of the lot.

1. Doritos – “Time Machine”

I caught this one a couple weeks back, stacked up against a hundred other commercials in a contest to claim its title as the ultimate Doritos ad. While I both hate and commend the company’s ability to weasel others into endorsing them, the champion’s work is usually better than anything Frito-Lay could have come up with (and spent millions on). To make it even worse, the voting process essentially acts as a test group, so the chance of the thing flopping on game-night is incredibly slim. Grrrrr, you stupid geniuses.

Its incredibly creative use of time travel pretty much guaranteed I’d like it, but for the average viewer, “Time Machine” holds a fair share of adorable wit and humour to boot.

If I missed anything really good, or you think any of my opinions are dumb, feel free to tell me in the comments below. I also like compliments, so those would be nice too.



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